a prayer answered

Happy 7th Birthday two days late, my dear Sam.

You are such a precious child. I remember praying for you before you were conceived, while you grew inside me, and I know the intensity of the prayers prayed for you during the last seven years. We named you Samuel because you are what your name means: "answered prayer".

God gave you to us and He has so lovingly let us hold you tight and at times wonder if you were about to be reunited with the God of all things. In such a short time you have survived a life-threatening sinus infection as well as what could have been a very badly positioned brain cyst. By the grace of God alone you were healed from the infection and the cyst rendered harmless (it is now merely a spot on the MRI). You are a child of God and He has clearly reminded us that we are merely privileged with training you in His ways.


I have no doubt that God has greatness planned for you. You have a strong will that you are learning to channel into the most amazing behaviors and you seem to be using this gift to positively affect others. I love watching how you interact with your older brother and with your younger sister. You have strength, conviction, and such a loving way with them. Of course you also tussle and squabble with them, but I know that you will always be there for them.

You melt my heart with your smile

encourage me with your fun personality

and inspire me with your love of God, your brother and sister, and of your dad and me.

Keep your eyes on Christ and always strive to be closer to Him each day. You are super agent Sam and Christ is your weapon, armor, and wisdom!

Treasures cluttering my view

 I say " I can't stand clutter", but if that is true then where did ALL THIS STUFF come from?

I suppose I cold "blame" the clutter on the fact that we have been married 13 years and we still think we are going to use those untouched wedding gifts

or on the fact that we have three wonderful kids who have toys and clothes and books and "stuff"

or that my Mom died 11 1/2 years ago and I have so much of her "stuff"...."stuff" that supposedly has memories attached to each thing (HA! I have pictures and siblings and a spouse who knew my Mom....the memories will not disappear because I get rid of the dress she wore in my wedding!).

But the truth is that we have so much stuff because we have allowed ourselves to nestle in the middle of it all thinking things like "I might need it someday" (really, will my feet shrink back down to before I had four pregnancies-size so I can wear roller blades with a three year old strapped to my back? or will those lovely silk shirts every again fit my not so firm arms, or even better, when will I ever need to adorn those silk-wear-with- the- suits-you no-longer-have shirts?)

Matthew 6: 19-21 states, " Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

My, my, tsk, tsk. Look at all the earthly treasures that surround our family! What a burden it is! House cleaning has become a pain because we needed to move all the "stuff" off the floor before vacuuming, off the tables before wiping, off the shelves before dusting. UGH!! And how much "stuff" have we moved each of the SEVEN times we have moved!

ENOUGH!! that is what we said in a low murmur last year. It was difficult to get enthusiastic last year because there was so much stuff to go through and purge.  But we started. We started with a "general entire-house purge". We collected what we thought was an amazing amount of "stuff" in the basement and dutifully gave away as much as friends would take (presumably for needs) and then offered the remainder for sale at a garage sale and then donated the leftovers.

AHHH....it felt good.

That was until we sat down and looked at the shelves in the living room, the THIRTY BOXES of books on the third floor, the unused children's clothes and toys, and on and on......it was as if we were blind during the first purge. I was in awe with HOW MUCH "stuff" we had NOT purged.

And so we started to purge again. This time we are going room by room, shelf by shelf, drawer by drawer. I think it will take us at least a year to truly purge and get down to the "stuff" we actually need and the "stuff" that truly are tied to memories and "stuff" that we do want to pass down for generations.

As each drawer, each shelf, each box is emptied, I feel more and more content. It is true. The less we have the less we really need or want. And most of the "stuff" that was cluttering our lives had found residence with people who need it.

We still have a LONG way to go, but we are moving in the right direction and we are diligently tending to this task daily. This has been a good life-lesson for our children and a great opportunity to teach our family what the Bible says about wealth and about what it means to be God's money managers (I shall write another entry on another day about what we are learning about being God's money managers.)

The removal of the "stuff" that we have purged has already almost inexplicably freed up an amazing amount of time in our lives. Time that we fill with doing "things" like being silly with the kids in the back yard....multiple times a day, and going for longer bike rides, and spending more time with our neighbors, and finding time to volunteer, and reading more of the Bible more often, and generally doing "things" that have a purpose in God's plan, "things" that cause contentment and that create a slower pace of life (though we seem to be doing more!) .
And so now I shall end. I have two boxes of "stuff" that need gone through and prepared for "eviction". And I am excited about purging....and so are our two boys and my husband....it is like a wonderful affliction....that presumably will be cured when all this excess "stuff" is gone!

The view seems to be blocked.....

Yes, my view is now blocked by a lankly"I-will-be-10-years-old-tomorrow" boy. Or should I say young man? When he walks in front of me, I can no longer see over him. He has a lovely thick head of hair and long lean neck and I see youthful muscles maturing in his shoulders and arms. And his arms....when he gives me a big bear hug they wrap all the way around me. I remember when his arms could only wrap around my neck when I picked him up and carried him in my arms.

Yesterday he picked me up.

Has a decade really passed?

How did we get from this:

 to this:

You are growing so quickly. Have your Dad and I done enough to keep God's word in your heart? Are we doing all that is needed for you to become a good Christian man?

I think you will grow to be a fine example of God's love. I'm just not ready for you to keep growing!

Keep your eyes and heart on God, my eldest, and your path will be made straight.

Goodbye Crib

Over ten years ago Sean and I went crib shopping and I hated every crib I saw. Being of small stature every crib was far too tall for me to reach into it without standing on a stool. And then I met the crib of my dreams.....

 It is lower than most cribs and has the awesome door on the side. Over the years the door has served many purposes including, but not limited to being able to slid a finally-sleeping Tyler into his crib without waking him, being able to slid Sam into the crib without further hurting my strained back muscles (it was unwise to pick up Tyler and Sam at the same time just days after giving birth), and for all three of our children the door has provided easy access in and out of the crib during non-nap and bed hours (Really shouldn't everyone including an 18 month old be able to access their sleeping spot even when awake?).

Over the last ten years this crib has resided in 4 of our homes and is an anchor for so many memories.....including my introduction to Lakewood Hospital a whopping 24 hours after we moved here. Never again shall we prop the mattress rail against a wall! I can remember clearly the weeks after we had moved Sam into Tyler's room so that we could assemble the crib for "the new baby". The crib stood in Sam's old room for only about 6 weeks because a miscarriage the day before my birthday carried our unborn child straight to God's arms. I remember thinking how sad it was that our final dis assembly of the crib was after we  had suffered such a loss. And I remember just as vividly how just 18 months later how excited we were to put up the crib for Riley. I was just BURSTING from that pregnancy! I was about  33 weeks pregnant...far enough along that the baby should be viable if born. And I remember how tiny Riley looked in that crib.....in that crib on the day we took it down!

On Friday we disassembled the crib for the last time. I am not sad to see this old friend covered and stored away. Rather excited that our family has officially moved into the stage in which all of our children are now "big kids".

Riley is absolutely thrilled!

And her big brothers so kindly fueled the excitement of their sister.

So now, at night, I sneak in and "check on her just one more time". And sometimes I can find her snuggled in the middle of her stuffed animals.

Here's to the horizons we will visit on your bed, my dear little red-haired girl!

Boy Business

We have these two creatures in our house that once were big-eyed, smiling little boys.

Now we have independent-minded, God-loving BIG kids.

Tyler loves to read and invent with Legos. His mind seems to never stop working and imagining. He likes to ponder ideas for days and then discuss at great length. He's our "brainiac" with benefits. Social and athletic. Refined and emotional. And he has one of the best smiles in the universe.

Sam is most certainly our strong-willed child and I feel so blessed that he has learned to (mostly) harness that part of him to use for good and positive action. He is a comic, an athlete, and friend. He truly holds himself and others accountable for what he and they say and do. He is simply fun to be around.

Together the boys make an amazing pair. They compliment each other in so many ways. It melts my heart to see them sticking up for one another and genuinely caring about and for each other. When they work together, which is often, they produce amazing creations, imaginative universes, and a loving environment for family and friends.

Watch out world!